Are You The Reason You Can't Find Mr. Right?

Gentleman Rambles

G E N T L E M A N - R A M B L I N G S; A collection of perspective ink spills. Spontaneous writings. In the moment poetics. Sometimes it rhymes, sometimes it doesn't. But it always comes from the soul. Something like the blogger feed before the hard back literature read. Get me?

A woman will never have a good man with the "all men are dogs" state of mind. 

You want the right man? 

Quit submitting your bodies to the wrong attire

Your time to the wrong activities

Your eyes to the wrong sights/sites

Your minds to the wrong perceptions and imaginations of what real is

Your hearts to the wrong Gods..

Less complaining, more praying. Not just for us, but for yourselves. God gives according to what you can handle. He's not just gonna hand you a husband when you still have a girlfriend state of mind. That's like putting a minor with no driving experience behind the wheel of a brand new car. An accident waiting to happen. Nothing that is meant for any of us in life is withheld from us when it's time for us to have it. The only reason for not receiving exactly what's for you, whether man or woman, is YOU. If you're tired of a specific type of man being the way he is, pray for him. If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem. If you're just pointing, chances are, while identifying those bones in his closet, you're ignoring the bones falling out of your own. The moment you reach down to pick up one of your own, and compare it with one of his, you'll go into shock at the realization that, the two of you are one of the same.

Ask yourself - What is it you're really looking for? When God speaks of man and him having a wife who is fruitful to his soul, he's speaking of a man who fears Him. A blessed man. (psalms 128) ...Do you really desire this type of man? See, God doesn't make mistakes, and the devil only gives you what you accept. It's not rocket science - MANY women don't want a man who really fears God, they want a man who pretends he doesn't fear anything. Unfortunately this man isn't pretending when it comes to two things - He doesn't fear God, and he doesn't fear leaving you. Which goes right back to him not fearing God. A man who doesn't fear God has no restraints. Yes, I know what's coming next from some of you. There are men of God who cheat, lie, etc etc..Listen, the only perfect man to ever walk the earth was NOT married. If you're looking for perfect, quit looking for a man, and start looking for Jesus. Not only will you find him, but you'll also find that the man he has for you is nothing like everything you've been dealing with all your life, and yes, flaws and all, he's a perfect fit for you.

I'm in no way, shape, form, or fashion, condoning any wrong doing on any man's part. I'm not saying that there aren't bad men out there, because there are plenty. But plenty has nothing to do with your ONE. Just know, if you want what's right for your life, you yourself have to be living right. Encourage the men in your life, pray for them, school them to the needs and purpose of your soul. If you're not doing any of the above, what sets you apart from the typical woman who deserves exactly what she's been getting? Honestly! What makes you so different? Remember- The RIGHT man isn't looking for a good woman, he's looking for the RIGHT woman. Your definition of good, might be someone Else's definition of bad, but God's definition of right can not be modified. So, I encourage you to do less groaning about the wrong men, and be the right woman. What's right for you will come to you in the right time and season

Thank You Jermaine G. this was a much needed read!

A Virtuous Woman

A Woman’s Checklist

by: Trent Shelton

-Am I a woman with style, elegance and grace.
-Am I a woman that knows where she is going and has learned from where she has been.
-Am I a woman that is not afraid to fail because I understand the road that has to be traveled in order to succeed.
-Am I a woman that respects a man, but also demands respect from that man.
-Am I a woman that won’t settle because I’m aware of my worth.
-Am I a woman that is independent but knows I have to depend on a man for the things a woman can’t provide.
-Am I a woman that values self-respect even if it causes me to lose attention.
-Am I a woman that is enticed by a man’s heart not a man’s wealth.
-Am I a woman that doesn’t hold a grudge against my past hurts.
-Am I a woman that has my own identity and is not only known through man.
-Am I a woman that values my girl friends opinions, but has enough sense of self to make my own decisions.
-Am I a woman that doesn’t despise a man’s heart because of the mistakes made by one man that was heartless.
-Am I a woman filled with integrity and gives the same respect that others give me.
-Am I a woman that understands even if I possess all these traits, I’m still nothing without the Love of God.

The woman that has made it down this checklist is the perfect woman for a REAL MAN! You are a VIRTUOUS WOMAN!!!

Check out REHAB Time   (Renewing Every Heart and Body)  http://rehabtime.org/home/ 

S.T.A.R: Betrayed by a Thing Called Love

A memoir by bestselling author
LaJoyce Brookshire

Even though this story is old I decided to share it, maybe it will encourage some of us to take the decisions we make more seriously. 

Be a STAR: Stop Think and Reconsider your decisions........

LaJoyce Brookshire, the best-selling author of Soul Food and Web of Deception, shares a true story more shattering than any novel. It’s her story. Her candid memoir, FAITH UNDER FIRE: Betrayed by a Thing Called Love tells Brookshire’s story of survival against the odds and courage in the face of a troubled relationship and a terrifying illness.

LaJoyce Brookshire was married to a man she thought was her very own Prince Charming…but then discovered a veiled side of him…He knew he had AIDS but kept this deadly secret from her until his body betrayed him. The frightening statistics of HIV/AIDS infections in this country only prove that there are too many secrets in too many relationships—and many of them are harbored by families living in fear, ignorance, and denial. With the statistics raging even higher for African American women, LaJoyce boldly shares her truth after years of silence. Standing on her incredible faith, then as now, LaJoyce says it’s time to stop lying, start telling the truth, and begin to live life with the understanding that only the truth will make you free.

LaJoyce Brookshire has certainly been through the fire, but thanks to her unrelenting faith, came out unscathed.

Here are excerpts from her interview....................
Who are the people most at risk, black women, married?
Black women are highly at risk, yes . And heterosexual women of all walks of life are highly at risk.
How did you maintain your Christian faith when you knew that this man knowingly had AIDS and still slept with you?You know what it is, honestly...because I didn't know that I was being deceived until he was almost dead. It was easier for me to maintain my Christian faith, because I was staying true to my wedding vows. And I thought back to the day of my wedding, when the only tear I shed was when I said, "through sickness and in health". That was the only tear. And we ironically got married on World AIDS Day in 1990- December 1st. That's how I was I able to hold on and just through the grace of God honestly.

Do you recommend that people in marriage get HIV tests?

Absolutely, I think now, its become routine. HIV can slip up on you and you might not ever know. I think what health systems should do is make blood testing mandatory to obtain a marriage license again. When I got married in 1990, to this guy, it was mandatory in 28 states, and now its only mandatory in 14. In the life and times of which we live now, why are there less? It is the responsibility of each individual to gather information; before you swap spit, swap information. No test, no touch! But we say that in theory and it's all fine and good, but here I am in this situation when Mr. Tall, Fine, and Handsome came stumping up in my life sending roses to my job every week, and my nose was open like a Mack truck. There's nothing you can tell a woman when she's in love.

Has there been any backlash?
From his family, yes, his sisters. Outside of that, no. There's been backlash from people, who feel that I preach abstinence... well I do. I don't think that you can put your faith in a condom. You can't put your total and complete faith in a condom. I ask this...If you know the person has AIDS, do you still trust the condom? The answer is generally no! Why then, do you trust it and you're not really sure? You're rolling the dice.

So abstinence outside of marriage?
Abstinence outside of marriage... or until you find out enough information. We don't want to hear that... because it's very hard to hear.　

Learn more: HIV/AIDS Education